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You know how the game works. The idea is that fortune cookies are truly the legends to one’s bedtime style and prowess. What you do is take your cookie’s fortune, add, “…in bed,” to the end of the incantation and WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA’AM, you’re one wondrous sex machine.

For your entertainment (OK…really my entertainment), I’d like to share some of the cookies I’ve recently encountered. I’m including a translation after the adding of, “in bed,” or if you will, post-coitus. (And you better believe it! I keep a whole carafe full of these things. I think it’s actually because I have one of those brain chemical imbalances that makes people hold on to things that have no real purpose in the universe, but for some reason we can’t throw out the trash).

FORTUNE: Your mind is creative, original and alert. (in bed.)
TRANSLATION: Positions. Surprise! And ahem ;).

FORTUNE: An admirer finds you charming. (in bed.)
TRANSLATION: The admirer brings out the charm.

FORTUNE: You will soon receive an unusual gift. (in bed.)
TRANSLATION: Awesome.

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